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Jun. 20th, 2016 11:33 amI have fibromyalgia - it's officially diagnosed and everything. It's gotten a lot better since I had the bariatric surgery and lost 200+ pounds, but it hasn't gone away. I just kind of keep forgetting, since I can do so much more,that I do still have limits. I might make it to two hours of straight work in the yard without breaks, instead of having to work five and rest five, but after those two hours, I'm shaking and can't seem to stop, and my arms and hands are sore.
But, I tell myself, is it really a chronic pain thing? Could it just be that I've been sitting (and eating) most of the past month? Could it be that, since I'm still almost 400 pounds, it's fatness rather than illness causing issues? My arms are sore from swinging the weed whacker, and I should just suck it up!
I am so much harsher to myself than I ever would be to anyone else. Why can't I be nicer?
Anyway. There's less than an hour before the boy gets home - 3 hours twice a week sure isn't a lot, but I signed him up for his school's summer program anyway, on the principle that I'd have to be up early to get him his medicine anyway, and it'd give him a chance to get out of the house. He's super happy about it; last week he was asking to go to school all day Tuesday and trying to get into his uniform. I'm spending that time sitting the fuck down, and then hopefully there's still some chef boyardee or something so that I can continue sitting for some time to come. I managed to drag myself into the shower and wash my hair, but getting dressed beyond wrapping myself in my bathrobe has not happened yet and may take a while.
On the up side, the back yard now no longer features weeds literally five feet tall, so I feel better about life. There's still work to do to make it look like a lawn and maintain it, and I didn't do anything with the front yard, but still. Baby steps.
But, I tell myself, is it really a chronic pain thing? Could it just be that I've been sitting (and eating) most of the past month? Could it be that, since I'm still almost 400 pounds, it's fatness rather than illness causing issues? My arms are sore from swinging the weed whacker, and I should just suck it up!
I am so much harsher to myself than I ever would be to anyone else. Why can't I be nicer?
Anyway. There's less than an hour before the boy gets home - 3 hours twice a week sure isn't a lot, but I signed him up for his school's summer program anyway, on the principle that I'd have to be up early to get him his medicine anyway, and it'd give him a chance to get out of the house. He's super happy about it; last week he was asking to go to school all day Tuesday and trying to get into his uniform. I'm spending that time sitting the fuck down, and then hopefully there's still some chef boyardee or something so that I can continue sitting for some time to come. I managed to drag myself into the shower and wash my hair, but getting dressed beyond wrapping myself in my bathrobe has not happened yet and may take a while.
On the up side, the back yard now no longer features weeds literally five feet tall, so I feel better about life. There's still work to do to make it look like a lawn and maintain it, and I didn't do anything with the front yard, but still. Baby steps.
